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Suicide
Prevention
All Alone With Just Fear
I wish you were still here,
I can't believe you're gone,
I cared for you so much...
...tell me where I went wrong.
I wonder if I could've helped you...
why didn't I try?
Why didn't I tell you how I felt?
Can you even hear this cry?
You left me here alone,
alone with this fear...
all I'm left to do is dwell,
without you here.
I considered you my sister,
one of my dearest friends.
How could you take your life,
and leave it without an end?
We had our deepest moments,
no one else knows.
I really miss you Lisa...
and don't know where to go.
~ WallyBasher ~
A person might be suicidal if he or she:
Talks about committing suicide
Has trouble eating or sleeping
Experiences drastic changes in behavior
Withdraws from friends and/or social activities
Loses interest in hobbies, work, school, etc.
Prepares for death by making out a will and final
arrangements.
Gives away prized possessions
Has attempted suicide before
Takes unnecessary risks
Has had recent severe losses
Is preoccupied with death and dying
Loses interest in their personal appearance
Increases their use of alcohol or drugs
Source: American Association of Suicidology,
www.suicidology.org
Reproduced with permission.
Many people at some time in their lives think about committing suicide. Most decide to live, because they eventually come to realize that the crisis is temporary and death is permanent. On other hand, people having a crisis sometimes perceive their dilemma as inescapable and feel an utter loss of control. These are some of the feelings and things they experience:
Can¹t stop the pain
Can¹t think clearly
Can¹t make decisions
Can¹t see any way out
Can¹t sleep, eat or work
Can¹t get out of depression
Can¹t make the sadness go away
Can¹t see a future without pain
Can¹t see themselves as worthwhile
Can¹t get someone¹s attention
Can¹t seem to get control
If you experience these feelings, get help! If someone you know exhibits these symptoms, offer help!
Source: American Association of Suicidology,
www.suicidology.org
Reproduced with permission.
Here are some ways to be helpful to someone who is threatening suicide:
Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide.
Be willing to listen. Allow expressions of feelings.
Accept
the feelings.
Be non-judgmental. Don¹t debate whether suicide is
right
or wrong, or feelings are good or bad. Don¹t lecture on the value of
life.
Get involved. Become available. Show interest and support.
Don¹t dare him or her to do it.
Don¹t act shocked. This will put distance between
you.
Don¹t be sworn to secrecy. Seek support.
Offer hope that alternatives are available but do not
offer
glib reassurance.
Take action. Remove means, such as guns or stockpiled
pills.
Get help from persons or agencies specializing in crisis
intervention and suicide prevention.
Source: American Association of Suicidology,
www.suicidology.org
Reproduced with permission.
When an Online Friend Threatens Suicide
When an online friend seems suicidal, you can feel helpless because you might not even know their real name, or where they live. And when they log off, you have no way of connecting with them. But there are things you can do, such as:
Listen to them. If you are in a chat room, ask them to
speak
with you in private messages, such as
AOL Instant
Messenger(sm),
Yahoo Messenger, or
ICQ. You can
check
the
Frost Knights Chat Room to see if
it's
empty too. If so, give them the URL:
http://p084.ezboard.com/bfrostknightsmessageboard.communityChat
Suggest that they visit
www.suicidology.org,
www.befrienders.org,
or the
Frost
Knights Suicide Prevention Page.
http://www.frostknights.com/suicidehelp.html
Tell them to call 1-800-SUICIDE, if they are in the United
States,
to be connected to a local Suicide Hotline.
Ask them to give it 24 hours. Ask them to promise to meet
you
again to chat the same time the next day. Chances are things will seem a
lot brighter by then.
Stay with them if you can. If you need to log off, find a
friend
who can speak to them after you go.
Get them involved in your favorite online game. Introduce
them
to some of your chat buddies. Friends and involvement can be very
healing.
Help them to think of people in their life that they could
speak
to about these feelings. Suggest parents, adult relatives, counselors,
teachers,
clergymen, doctors, or other trusted adults.
Tell them that you care, and that things will get
better.
Above all, do not ignore it, thinking it will go away.
Do something before it is too late.
If Someone You Know Has Committed Suicide, Remember:
You need to understand that it was not your fault. The
fact
that you were there probably helped them immeasurably in their battle.
Unfortunately, that battle is lost sometimes.
You will have many questions buzzing around your head, the
biggest
of which is "Why?" You will have to accept that that is one question that
cannot be answered.
Always remember that it was not your fault. You might have
had
a fight with that person, you might have had a disagreement, but it's not
your fault. Blaming yourself just poisons the memories of the person who
is gone. Would that person want their memory be painful? I know that I
would
rather be remembered for all of the good times shared.
You will be thinking, "Why didn't I do this differently,
why
wasn't I there for them at this time?" Don't. Blaming yourself may feel
good
because it helps solve the "why" question, but it will only make it
harder.
Always know that suicide is a very hard task to undertake.
It's
not something that is a spur of the moment decision. People who do it feel
that it's their only choice, and have given it a lot of thought. Even then,
it's still very hard.
Take care of yourself. It is easy to become depressed when
someone
close to you commits suicide, and climbing out of that depression is hard.
Also remember that it's usually depression that leads one to suicide, and
if you are slipping into a depression, be careful, or soon it could be you
thinking the same dark thoughts.
It is normal to have hopeless, suicidal thoughts of your
own.
When those thoughts come, think of how your friend's suicide felt, and
think
about the people in your life who care about you. You know how hurt that
they would be, do you want to put them through what you have been
through?
Friends or professional help are the greatest help that one
can
have. For they are there to listen, to help, to give you different opinion
so that you can see this from all sides and hopefully find some resolution.
Just having someone there to talk to can really really help, for it allows
you to voice your opinions, cry your tears, and to just get it out, say
what
you feel and think, and process it all.
Always remember that you are never alone. You may think
that
the road ahead is dark and gloomy, and that you walk it alone, but people
care about you. All you need to do is mention it, and you will see how many
friends you have.
Most of all, never give up on the memory of that person.
They
were special to you in life, so let them live on in your heart and mind.
Never forget the special times and moments shared, the memories will live
as long as you let them. Never give up on the beauty of memories.
